Freedom

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“You’re free”. Those are the words my uveitis specialist gently told me this morning. My eye, which have been battling uveitis and secondary glaucoma, are finally clear. They are bright and clear and white. They are healthy. That’s not to say that I won’t have to face this again. In fact, more than likely I will get this again. This is the second time I’ve had uveitis in the last 10 years. The stats are against me. I’ve prepared myself for it. But, I’m hopeful that I won’t have to deal with this for a few more years.

People think that losing weight is the hardest thing. And it is. But, no one really told me how hard it would be to stay lean. Skinny people that I know –“naturally” thin people– don’t seem to struggle like I do. May be they do. May be they just have established better habits earlier on and this is why they can stay healthy? I don’t know. But, it sometimes feels like my body was meant to be bigger. My thyroid issues and the eye steroids I was on didn’t help. But, still, maintaining my weight loss had been just as difficult as it was to lose it. The motivation isn’t as great anymore. Plus, it is so hard to stay motivated when that scale isn’t moving. Especially when you’re on track exercise wise and eating clean. I’m heavier than I was on my wedding day lowest, and not as fit. But, I really believe that I will get to my goal weight again. My plan is to join another bootcamp and to really pick up some sort of sport for a hobby. I also want to start righting out my meals again. That really helped me stay on track calorie wise. It’s how I first started in my weight loss journey, and perhaps it’s how I finish this. My health journey has been long, but I’m re-committed to this. I guess I wish someone would have told me about this. The struggle. You don’t just lose weight and then eat salads and drink water for life. You struggle to keep it off, to keep your motivation, and to keep going. But, that’s exactly what I plan on doing, and I feel like today’s news was the first step back in the right direction.

 

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