Today was not a good day. I had another one of my doctor appointments for my uveitis/high eye pressure and I basically started bawling in the chair. Nothing seems to be working, and it’s incredibly frustrating. I got in my car and cried my eyes out from pure frustration with my situation. I’m sure I made quite the sad sight. I was feeling pretty low. My plan had been to hit the gym after my appointment because they are near each other, but because of how I was feeling I just couldn’t force myself to go.
I called my husband at work. He’s got this new job that he really likes, but it’s been hard on us. We are each other’s person and because we were both working from home, we were always with each other. We have worked from home for the last two years, until he had this opportunity come up. I called him because he has gone to all my doctor’s appointments with me. He has been my rock, my strength. He can calm me down like no one else when my anxiety begins to rise and when I feel like I am going to have a panic attack when I’m at the doctor’s office. I called him after I had cried myself out in that hospital parking lot garage, hoping that perhaps his voice would calm my fears. He knew I was upset; it’s not easy for me to hide my feelings from him, especially when I’m sad or emotional. And, he was able to really make me see light again. I love my husband so much, and despite this rough first year of marriage (with all these medical issues), I am so happy that I chose him and that he chose me. He was able to leave his job a little bit early and work from home. I didn’t have to ask–and I wouldn’t have. But, he knew that I needed him and he knew that something so small as him hugging me would make me feel better. And, so that’s what he did. He can make everything better, and I so grateful for him.
In regards to weight loss, it’s been really hard for me to focus on being healthy. I’m usually a beast with exercise, but this last week has been so tough emotionally that I haven’t really put in an effort. I’m hoping that my spirit rises again, because that’s when I really give it my all. I’m not the type of person who likes to work out when I’m frustrated or upset. I like to be happy. I like to feel great when I hop on a treadmill or am lifting. Here’s to another week of me not giving up.