The New Year

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Today is my brother’s birthday. He never made it to 31. He was only 1 year and 2 weeks older than me.I judge my days now as good days or bad days. If I cry, it’s a bad day. If the thought of him has me doubled over and the tears are relentless, I consider it a bad day. But, if I can think of him with no pain. If I can think of him and smile through my tears, then it’s a good day. I thought today would be a bad day. So did my husband, so he took the day off work to be with me. But, it has surprisingly been okay. The sadness isn’t overwhelming today. I feel like the New Year is on the horizon, and my disposition matches this.

I’m like the millions of people who look to the New Year to improve myself. To make resolutions. Don’t get me wrong, I still have goals and markers I set for myself through out the year. But, as the New Year approaches, I think, here is my chance to start again. I know a lot of people don’t like making resolutions. That they “fail” at them if they don’t complete them. I don’t look at resolutions like that. If I fail, I keep trying. It’s how I lost weight. It’s how I stopped biting my nails. It’s how I stopped drinking soda. I don’t quit. No. Erase that. I quit. But then I start again. And, I’m better for it.

2017 is going to be so much better than 2016. Nothing can stop me.

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